How to Build Social Skills in Kids

To build social skills in kids, practise one useful skill at a time. Show what it sounds like, let your child rehearse with you, and create chances to use it in everyday life. Listening, joining an activity and expressing a need are useful starting points.

“Go and make friends” is a big instruction. “Would you like to practise asking whether you can join the drawing table?” gives a child something specific to work with.

Which social skills should you practise first

Start with a situation your child wants help with. Perhaps they want to join a game but cannot find an opening. Perhaps they have plenty to say and want help sharing a conversation. Choose one skill that would make that situation easier.

Ask, “Is there a part you want to practise with me?” Keep the practice brief and focus on a situation your child cares about.

Ten social skills activities for kids

1. Rehearse joining an activity

Pretend you are building something or playing a game. Let your child watch for a moment, then try a relevant question: “What are you making?” or “Could I have a turn after this round?”

Switch roles so they hear an invitation too. Practise what to do when someone says “not right now,” such as choosing another activity.

2. Build a conversation around a shared interest

Choose something your child likes. Take turns sharing one detail and asking one related question.

If you say, “I saw a dog carrying a huge stick,” they might ask, “What kind of dog?” Keep the exchange relaxed.

3. Practise checking what someone meant

Use a deliberately unclear sentence, such as “Put it over there.” Invite your child to ask, “Which thing?” or “Do you mean beside the chair?”

Explain that it is okay to check instead of guessing what another person means.

4. Make a plan together

Choose a small shared task, such as designing a marble run or organising a picnic. Give each person a chance to suggest something.

Try combining ideas: “We could use your tunnel and my ramp.” When both ideas cannot fit, agree on a fair way to choose.

5. Rehearse a clear boundary

Act out a familiar situation, such as someone taking a pencil without asking. Your child could try, “I’m using that. Please ask first.”

Also practise respecting someone else’s answer. A friend can decline a hug or want a turn alone. Include getting an adult when a boundary is ignored or a situation feels unsafe.

6. Offer help without assuming

Pretend a person has dropped several game pieces. Ask your child how they could offer help: “Would you like me to pick these up?”

Practise accepting both yes and no. Caring about someone includes paying attention to what they actually want. Our empathy activities for kids explore this further.

7. Work through a small disagreement

Use an imaginary example: two children want the same building piece. Ask each person to state what they need, then suggest possible solutions.

Try a timer, another piece or building together. Ask whether the solution works for both people.

8. Practise repairing a mistake

Choose a fictional situation where someone accidentally knocks over a project. Ask what repair could involve.

For example: “I knocked it over. I’m sorry. Can I help put it back?” The action matters alongside the words. The other child may still need time before they want to play again.

9. Make inclusion concrete

Before a family game, ask your child how a newcomer would learn the rules. Let them explain one part or offer a choice of roles.

Try a specific invitation: “Would you like to be on our team?” or “We’re drawing animals. Want some paper?”

10. Notice a useful interaction

After a comfortable social activity, ask, “Was there a moment you enjoyed?” If your child wants feedback, describe one thing you noticed: “You asked what she wanted to build before you started.”

Avoid conducting a detailed review after every playdate. Social time should also be time to enjoy themselves.

Adapt the practice to your child

Younger children may find toys and short pretend scenes easier to follow. Older children may prefer discussing a real situation privately. Offer social opportunities around shared interests; a short visit with one familiar friend may be a useful start.

Adapt to your child’s language, sensory needs and usual communication supports. Listening can happen without eye contact, and enjoying a small friendship group is enough.

What if my child keeps being left out

Listen to what happened before assuming your child needs better social skills. Repeated exclusion can involve the group, the setting or bullying.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends speaking with the school when a pattern of rejection continues. Ask for specific observations and a plan for support. If the experience turns into “Nobody likes me,” our negative self-talk guide can help you respond while you address what is happening.

Choose one skill for this week

Choose one situation to practise this week. The Brain Boosters Social Skills Set offers affirmation-and-action prompts around communication, kindness and connection for ages 5–12.